Everything I need to know I learned from “The Golden Girls”…

My mother called me the other day, and true to form, she dispensed with standard niceties and started the call with “So how much did that set you back, the work you had done?” in her thick German accent.

I was puzzled, to say the least.

“Um…huh?” was my intelligent reply. 

“How much did that set you back, the work you had done?” she repeated.

“What are you talking about?” said I, totaling up in my head the amount I had just spent customizing the closet in the new apartment…

“Didn’t you get some work done on your face? Did you get a face-lift?”

And then it dawned on me…

A couple weeks ago I took a “selfie” for Facebook. I was with some of the other volunteers at the Saturday morning soup kitchen at St. Michael’s here in Manhattan.  Subscribing to the Gospel of the Golden Girls, I adhere to the teachings of Blanche Devereaux: lean back for pictures (and for making love). Gravity is your face’s friend only in this position. I don’t know if it was the gravitational pull, the lighting, or just my crappy phone camera, but I have to admit, in the photo I do look younger. Thanks, Blanche! Once again, “The Golden Girls” had served me well, beyond the multitude of memorized lines and witty retorts.

I had the pleasure of knowing Rue McClanahan, the actress who gave vivacious life to the character of Blanche.  A couple things always struck me as completely enchanting about her. First, she loved meeting her fans, and hearing about how “The Golden Girls” (and even its feminism predecessor, “Maude”) made a difference in their lives, taught them a lesson, or just simply entertained them. We’ve all heard the stories about (or had first-hand experience with) celebrities who hate being associated with one—albeit their most famous—role. Rue loved Blanche, and loved “The Golden Girls.” She delighted in the recognition, she embraced the fans, she welcomed the worship. She was—and to me, always will be—the true definition of a Star.

Secondly, Rue & Blanche shared the common bond of trying to ignore the aging process simply by being fabulous. Rue always looked fabulous (even when she didn’t feel good), and had a “joie de vivre” that was infectious. She realized the role of Blanche Devereaux (neé Hollingsworth) could have gone to anyone. After all, the producers originally offered it to Bette White. Can you imagine?! Rue knew she had hit the jackpot. She was the gracious winner—always giving back to the fans who adored her. And making sure she looked good while doing it. Let’s be honest. All those Girls had had some work done. Well, maybe not Sophia…

Do I oppose plastic surgery? Absolutely not.

Botox? Bring it on.

A nip, a tuck? Hey, if it makes you feel better about yourself, go for it.

But would I go under the knife? No. 

Not yet, anyway. But I’m not ruling it out. 

As long as gravity and good lighting are working to my advantage, I’m pretty happy.

“The Golden Girls” had it right…

Find the laughter whenever and wherever you can.

Support each other when the tears come along.

Dress nicely and for God’s sake, do your hair—even when just sitting around the house.

Embrace the process: life, love, aging…it’s all gonna happen no matter what.

And—most importantly of all—“family” is where you find it.

Hey, Rue…thank you for being a friend.

If Blanche Devereaux were still alive, she would be about 82 years young. 

And fabulous. 

And bonking the delivery boy.

I want to be her when I grow up.   

            (the picture in question)

          (a recent unretouched picture at work...
   yes, Virginia, there really are wrinkles, dammit...)